


Feels like Home to Me

by madamehomesecretary



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M, Fix-it fic, Reunion, Two Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29090985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamehomesecretary/pseuds/madamehomesecretary
Summary: It started with whisperings of someone seeing “a woman who had to be the late Home Secretary’s twin” at St. Pancras early one morning the week before. Then another fleeting sighting at Westminster a few days later, the mysterious brunette allegedly ducking into an unoccupied office as Parliament adjourned from an early session.It had taken a full three days for a press conference to be called, where journalists and government officials appeared slack-jawed by the sight of the once-“dead” Home Secretary appearing at the podium.Julia Montague was very much alive.
Relationships: David Budd/Julia Montague
Comments: 47
Kudos: 123





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theroomstops](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theroomstops/gifts).



> Hi, friends! I know it's probably a shock that I've written something else about these two, and my possible idea of how Julia could still return from the dead if *someone* were so inclined. (Side note: Jed, if you're reading this, feel free to roll with the idea. I have no problem with you stealing it completely and tweaking it to your own means. Just saying.)
> 
> Inspired by a certain "no comment" remark made by Keeley a few weeks ago, this one goes out to my Linny for her birthday. I know it's been a tough year, Linny Pops, but today marks a brand new start! And I can't wait to see what great things happen for you in 2021. I love you. 
> 
> P.S. Please eat a lot of cake.

He scanned the headline in front of him for what he was sure had to be the tenth time since he had picked The Times up off his doorstep after his morning run. 

He had left it on the kitchen table while he showered and dressed for an early morning meeting with Anne Sampson at headquarters. It was only after he had gotten ready for the day and fixed himself a cup of coffee that he let himself unroll the scroll and glance at the front page. 

And just like that, everything froze. 

A pair of green eyes that he had known so well stared back at him from the front page. The same vivid green eyes that crinkled up at the corners when she laughed under white sheets at the Blackwood Hotel, or the ones that stared back at him, accompanied by a slight smirk, when she caught him staring at her through the glass partition separating her personal sanctuary from the rest of the Home Office. They had had their fair share of stare-offs during his time as her Principal Protection Officer, both professionally and more … intimately. 

But now, as he stared down at her photo, he wasn’t sure he recognized her any more. It wasn’t that her appearance in the photo had changed. It was an old photo of her, ironically the same one the media had splashed all over front pages and television stations after she “died” almost two years earlier.

Two years. That was how long it had taken before she had made her grand re-entrance into London society. 

_It started with whisperings of someone seeing “a woman who had to be the late Home Secretary’s twin” at St. Pancras early one morning the week before. Then another fleeting sighting at Westminster a few days later, the mysterious brunette allegedly ducking into an unoccupied office as Parliament adjourned from an early session._

_It had taken a full three days for a press conference to be called, where journalists and government officials appeared slack-jawed by the sight of the once-“dead” Home Secretary appearing at the podium next to the Prime Minister, and the high-ranking government official who had taken her palace after Mike Travis’ swift resignation from the Home Office._

_Julia Montague was very much alive._

_David had watched in shock, tears springing uninvited to his eyes as she stood on the public stage once more, looking ever as authoritative - though maybe a bit thinner - as she had during the short month that he was in her employ._

_He grasped onto the back of the couch as he came to sit on the arm, leaning back and blinking a few times to clear his vision. He had listened in unimaginable shock as the Prime Minister made a statement about the return of Julia Montague to the British government._

_The prodigal daughter had come home._

_Well, sort of._

_David watched as she stepped up to the podium, clearly favoring the left side of her body, though he was sure to the regular observer, it wasn’t noticeable. But David had been paid to watch her every move for the better part of four weeks. And he certainly had done that … and more._

_When he heard her speak, he thought his heart might have stopped. The irony of Julia turning up alive and him dying of a heart attack from the shock would not have been lost on him._

_As he sank further into the couch, still hardly believing his own eyes, he reached out and pinched himself hard on the arm, willing himself to wake up from another dream where she came back to him._

_It was always disappointing when he did wake up._

_Except this time, it wasn’t a dream._

_He listened attentively as Julia began to speak, her voice sounding clear and strong, though he noticed that she faltered a bit more than she used to when speaking. He could tell from her body language that she was nervous, and he wished he could be there to reassure her._

_Julia announced that she would be stepping down from government, and she confirmed that she was giving no thought to taking back the post she had been forced to abandon when she went into hiding. She would return to life as a civilian and continue her work as a criminal barrister, the career that had made her want to make a difference in the world in the first place._

_There was a flurry of commotion as she finished her statement and stepped away from the podium, and reporters began to shout questions at the legal representative who had taken her place. Julia was quietly ushered off the stage as people called her name, shouting for the slightest bit of her attention. Which she didn’t give them, of course, as she and her security team appeared to leave the conference room._

_David had been unable to move from his couch for a long time as he took in the reality that Julia,_ his _Julia, was actually alive._

That had been 24 hours ago, and despite his best efforts, no one seemed inclined to give David the slightest clue where they were hiding the former Home Secretary. She had practically gone off the grid after the presser, and while David had thought about texting her, he was hesitant. She had had all the opportunity in the world to reach out to him, hadn’t she? And he had heard nothing for two years. 

He wanted more than anything to speak to her, to figure out a time they could see each other and pick up where they had left off. But he didn’t want to push too hard. He could only imagine what she had been through in the last two years. Plus, he was sure she was overwhelmed by the madness surrounding her return. That couldn’t be easy to deal with. The last thing she was probably thinking about was calling him.

Then again, he guessed there was a certain security risk involved there, too. His mind wandering to Julia’s security, he felt his chest tighten again. There was no one who would be more focused on Julia’s safety than he would be. He knew the former Home Secretary better than anyone in her inner circle, so it seemed only natural that they should place him on her security team again. Nothing was more important to him that knowing Julia was safe, even after all this time. 

And if he was lucky enough, he would be reunited with Julia before the day was up.

Hence his meeting with Anne Sampson. 

Taking one last look at the front page of the newspaper, David drained the rest of his coffee and swallowed. He needed to hurry if he was going to make it across town and be on time for his appointment. He couldn’t afford for anything to go wrong today. 

“You want … to be reassigned to the former home secretary’s security detail?” 

Anne Sampson clasped her hands together, resting her chin on them as she leaned forward, studying David closely. 

“You really think that’s a good idea, Sergeant?”

David frowned. He had known there would be some push back from the higher ups, but he had come prepared. 

“I do, ma’am,” he said confidently, looking past Anne and out the glass wall of windows that overlooked the city center of London. “I served on the Home Secretary’s protection team for a month, I know her habits and the ins-and-outs of her daily life.”

“Knew them,” the red head corrected. “Two years is a long time for the Home Secretary --” she stopped herself. That was going to be a difficult habit to break, she thought to herself.

“For _Julia_ to be away,” she finally said, putting emphasis on the woman’s first name.

David tried his best not to audibly sigh. He knew how long two years was, he had counted every single day since the explosion that he thought had taken away the woman he loved forever. 

“David, you have to understand my hesitation,” she began slowly, clicking her nails together methodically as she stared at the man in front of her. “After St. Matthew’s….”

He couldn’t hold back the scoff that slipped from between his lips before he could stop it. His eyes widened and he sucked in a breath. 

“Sorry, ma’am,” he apologized quickly. “But, I’d just like to point out that I was absolved of all wrong-doing surrounding the events at St. Matthew’s,” he reminded his superior, his tone clipped. 

“With Lorraine Craddock, Luke Aikens and Nadia Ali in custody, it became evident that I had nothing to do with Julia’s _attempted_ assassination,” he reminded her. “I did my job as her PPO to the best of my ability. A job I would continue to do if you were to reinstate me.”

Anne looked skeptical at best. 

“And your relationship with the Home Secretary?” she asked pointedly, arching a brow sharply in his direction. “Would that be something you are willing to forego to serve as a member of her security team?”

David hesitated, wondering how much of his hand he should show. He wasn’t willing to agree to that. Not until he spoke to Julia and they established where they stood after all the time. But Anne Sampson didn’t need to know that. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, ma’am,” he said, deciding quickly to play dumb. But he could tell by the look on Anne’s face that he had made the wrong decision. 

“I know that you and the Home Secretary were sleeping together, David,” Anne said pointedly, getting to her feet and beginning to pace the floor into front of the wall of windows, looking down at the city below. 

David sighed, knowing there was no use denying it.

“Craddock let you in on that, aye?” He asked, closing his eyes. So much for ‘making it disappear’ as she had promised. But then again, after everything that had happened with his former boss, he guessed she really hadn’t kept any of her promises at all. 

“She certainly did,” Anne said flatly, turning to face the man in front of her again, her eyes narrowed. 

“This is important to you, isn’t it, David?” She finally asked, remembering the broken man who had sat in her office the night Lorraine, Luke and Nadia were arrested. The broken man she had sent for the therapy that, in all reality, had probably saved his life. 

She knew what she and Craddock had done to David was wrong. But in some sort of twisted way, her devotion to her country and her job had made it that much more important to keep tabs on a political figure who had clearly gone off piste. It wasn’t until Lorraine’s trial that she had realized just how off track they both had been in their actions. 

“Yes, ma’am,” David said simply. “Julia Montague’s safety is my top priority, and I want to make sure she remains safe.

Anne sighed, rubbing at her temple with her fingers. She knew David Budd’s dogged determination could wear out even the strongest of opponents, and she wasn’t sure she had the energy in her to fight this battle he was clearly determined to win. 

“I will suggest the idea,” she finally said, imagining that her caving in was the result of the last two years of guilt she had experienced after watching David’s downward spiral. 

“We’ll start you on a trial basis, and make sure it’s something that you and Julia are both comfortable with,” she said, settling back behind her desk and making a note in the pad in front of her. “Come back in the morning and we’ll go over the details and get you squared away.” 

David felt his chest thrum with excitement, but he did his best to keep it concealed. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, nodding as he stood and started for the door. 

“And David?” 

He turned again, looking at Anne curiously. 

“Don’t fuck this up, alright?” 

David didn’t sleep at all that night, wondering what seeing Julia again was truly going to be like. He was nervous about her reaction, but finally decided that he had nothing to worry about. It had been obvious they both had feelings for each other before the explosion. He hoped they’d be able to pick up where they left off, though he knew that seemed like a long shot. 

Still, he felt his chest thrumming with excitement at even just the possibility. 

Tossing and turning, he finally settled for laying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling intently as memories from his time with Julia seemed to plague his mind. 

He couldn’t believe she was really and truly back. His mind began to go through all the things he would need to say when he saw her again, and he finally fell into a fitful sleep.

\- The next morning - 

Trying not to be too cheerful as he walked into the station, David headed straight for Anne Sampson’s office, offering a quick hand up as a good morning to the security officers sitting at the front desk as he scanned his badge. 

Taking the steps two at a time, he couldn’t help the stupid smile that kept taking over his face as he climbed the stairs, heading for the fifth floor. He could use the physical activity as a way to get some of his nervous energy out before being taken to wherever Julia was being held until she could acclimate to normal life and things died down a bit. 

When he arrived at Anne’s office, he knocked and entered, not missing the sour look that crossed her features as she looked down at her computer. 

“Good morning, ma’am,” David finally offered when she said nothing, and Anne frowned, mumbling something under her breath. 

David shifted his weight anxiously. He seemed unable to stay still today, though whether it was nerves or excitement, he couldn’t be sure.

“Should I go get changed and come back, ma’am?” David asked, unsure why Anne had still not addressed him. 

Anne looked up as if she was seeing him for the first time. 

“Sit down, David,” she said flatly, and David felt a knot beginning to form in the pit of his stomach. 

“Ma’am?”

“There’s been a change in plans,” Anne said simply, glancing down at the ledger in front of her. “There is a foreign dignitary visiting from Spain for the next 4 days. You’ll be serving as his protection officer while he is here in London.”

David frowned. 

“But ma’am, yesterday you said -- Julia...” He trailed off as Anne’s steely gaze met his.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news,” Anne said, sighing, and David felt his stomach drop in dread.

“Ma’am?” 

“The former home secretary … well, I don’t know how to say this, David … but Julia Montague has denied your request. She was very specific that you won’t be reinstated as a part of her protection team.”


	2. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glancing down at his phone again, he rubbed his palm over his face. It was getting late. And he wouldn’t stay up all night waiting for a message that he knew, deep down, was never going to come. 
> 
> Julia had made her position clear. And it was time for him to accept that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your kind words about this story! I had the vision of it, and it just sort of spilled out. And who doesn't love a good reunion story? It's been a bit of a crap day, and it was nice to have a distraction in the form of words to write. 
> 
> The dress in this chapter might sound familiar, and I think you'll recognize it from a certain recent appearance of @MissKeeleyHawes that we all loved. ;)
> 
> Again, Jed Mercurio, if you're reading this... feel free to run with it or any sort of version of it that you might wish to take. Just PLEASE give us something. A crumb. A morsel. We'll take anything.
> 
> Ha. Anyway. Enough of that. Happy reading, friends! ❤️

David left Anne’s office, still reeling from the news she had delivered. 

Julia didn’t want him. 

He had felt like he was on the top of the world when he had entered headquarters only half an hour earlier, but now … everything just seemed flat. He knew the sights and the sounds of the city well, but not it was if he wasn’t registering any of it. 

Stopping at a newsstand around the corner from the police station, David sighed, trying to collect himself. He was to meet with his new principal who was arriving from Spain that very afternoon, but there was only one principal he could find himself thinking of at that moment. 

_ She didn’t want him.  _

The words kept repeating over and over again in his head. 

He had never expected for her to react like this. He had figured she would need time, that was why he had stayed away… but maybe that had been the wrong approach. Maybe Julia had misunderstood and thought that he didn’t want to be with her after everything that had happened. Maybe Anne didn’t make it clear that the assignment request was coming directly from him. He wanted to be on her team. He wondered if that would make a difference?

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, David searched through his contacts for the familiar name. Eight simple letters. Lavender. He had removed her from the ‘favorites’ list in his phone when she had “died” after the bombing at St. Matthew’s. It had been too painful to see the name staring back at him everytime he pulled out his phone to make a call. 

Now he wondered if he would ever get to put it back in its rightful place again. 

Summoning all the courage he could muster, he pressed the number before he could change his mind, holding his breath as he placed the phone to his ear and it began to ring. And ring. And ring. 

His stomach dropped as he realized that she wasn’t going to answer. 

Maybe her number wasn’t the same. It would make sense she would have had to get it changed for security purposes. He just needed to find out the new -- 

**_You’ve reached Julia Montague, please leave a message and I’ll return your call._ **

David froze when he heard her voice. Her tone was clipped. Professional. She had recently re-recorded the message since her return he assumed, as it wasn’t the same voicemail message she used to have. 

He frowned as a beep sounded on the other end of the line. 

“Oh, er…” he began, nervously stumbling over his words. “Julia, it’s Sergeant Budd… er, David.” He paused.  _ Sergeant Budd? _ He was floundering, and he knew it. “I, um, just wanted to see if you were alright … and um, to talk to you. I’d like to see you,” he blurted out, wincing as he realized he was going in completely the wrong direction from what he had planned to say. “Just … um… call me,” he finally said quietly before hanging up. 

Shaking his head in embarrassment, he placed his phone back in his pocket. Glancing up at the Newsagents stand on the other side of the pavement, he frowned. There she was again, her face staring back at him from rows of tabloid rags and newspaper front pages. 

Cursing under his breath, he looked both ways before jogging across the empty street to a coffee shop on the corner. He was going to need something strong to get him through this day. 

Julia sucked in a breath as she saw the voicemail notification pop up on her phone. And she looked around her half empty flat, almost as if she needed to double check she was alone before she allowed herself to be caught up in David Budd again. 

Pressing the play button and placing the phone to her ear, she blinked a few times as she heard the lilting Scottish accent she loved so much on the other end of the line. He was tripping over his words, and clearly nervous about what he was saying… that much was obvious. 

And for a small moment, Julia allowed herself to smile. To really smile for what felt like the first time in an entire lifetime. After all, it felt like a lifetime since that day at St. Matthew’s when everything, quite literally, exploded. 

She felt her heart beating faster when he said he wanted to see her, and she was grateful that she had not answered his call when she saw it come across on her screen. She had the very strong inclination that had she answered, and actually spoken to him, she would have agreed to meet with him. 

And that certainly wasn’t a good idea. 

Julia had known it would happen eventually when she had started planning the return back to her old life. She knew that even if she didn’t contact him, or give him some sort of warning, he would find out she was alive, and come running. 

That was what he always did. He came running. 

True, it had taken him longer than she had expected to get in touch with her, but she had never expected the email she had received last night either. It was rather bold of him, and also of Commander Sampson, to think he could just insert himself in her life like that again. As if nothing had happened. As if nothing had changed. 

When, in reality, _ everything _ had changed. 

Pulling her iPad into her lap again, she re-read the email from Anne again as she shifted to make herself more comfortable on the couch, pulling her cashmere blanket tighter around her body. She had read her clipped response fewer times, as she still wasn’t sure she had made the right decision. But reading the correspondence again, she steeled her resolve and shook her head. 

David couldn’t be her PPO, not again. It wasn’t right. 

This was the way it had to be. 

David waited a few days with no response before he decided to text her. He knew this would have to be his last ditch attempt, that if she didn’t respond to this … he would have to finally give up the ghost and let her go. 

Even if he didn’t want to. 

He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat, he was barely able to do his job, honestly, he was so distracted by the idea of Julia. He heard heels on the pavement behind him and turned to find it very much was not Julia. He would see a large group of people gathering and assume that some big news had broken about her return. But nothing. 

Silence. 

He still hadn’t been able to locate where she was living now, which really -- when he thought about it logically -- was a good thing, because that meant she was certainly safe wherever his higher ups had chosen to house her. But it was completely frustrating to know that he didn’t have the authority to know these types of things any more. 

The last few days had been busy with his Spanish diplomat. He had escorted Juan Castillo all around London as he made appearances and took meetings with government officials in power. The end of the trip was being marked by a gala event held tomorrow night by the Prime Minister, Lawrence Barnes. It would be David’s last assignment before he was released from duty. 

He and Anne had been edging their way around a discussion of a new assignment for him. Now that he had been promoted at work, it was clear she wanted him to pursue some other avenues of policing. He had been toying with the idea of asking to work with Deepak Sharma and Louise Rayburn again. They had (mostly) gotten on well during his time helping with the investigation of Julia’s assassination … well,  _ attempted  _ assassination, he corrected himself. 

Maybe a move like that would do him some good. 

He allowed his mind to wander back to Julia as he took another long swig from his beer bottle. 

Liquid courage. 

He had thought about her rejection a lot in the last three days, and his mind had gone a million different directions on why she had felt the need to turn him down so callously without a word directly from her. And then there was the message he had left, with no response. 

No, this would be his last ditch effort. He would have no other choice. 

_ Julia, it’s David. I don’t know if you got my message the other day, but I’d really like to speak to you. Call me, please.  _

He read over the words a few times and sighed, his thumb hovering over the send button. Closing his eyes, and figuring he had nothing left to lose, he pressed the screen and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding as the beep signaled that the message was gone. 

No taking it back now. 

Draining the last of his beer, he debated popping the top on another, but decided against it. He needed to have his wits about him tomorrow. Castillo, or Raven, as they referred to him for security clearance, had an early morning meeting at the Spanish Embassy that David would have to attend with him. They would spend the afternoon touring the last of the city sights on Juan’s list, and then the gala. 

He frowned. He hated events like that. They were always crowded with overzealous guests, and the most spirited party-goer usually ended up being the same principal he was charged with protecting during their brief stay in London. But he didn’t think the gala should be that difficult. Castillo was no threat to anyone here in London, therefore it should be a relatively easy assignment in the end. 

Glancing down at his phone again, he rubbed his palm over his face. It was getting late. And he wouldn’t stay up all night waiting for a message that he knew, deep down, was never going to come. 

Julia had made her position clear. And it was time for him to accept that. 

Hearing the beep of her phone in her bedroom, Julia poured herself another heavy pour of white wine and made her way slowly into the inner sanctum of her new flat. It was smaller than her flat in Battersea had been, but she quite liked it. 

Upon her return to London, she had found out that her old flat had been sold rather quickly after her “death.” And she hadn’t been surprised. If she was being honest with herself, she didn’t mind the idea of moving somewhere new and starting over. Plus, she could do without the memories that she was sure would plague her if she returned to Overstrand Mansions. Not to mention, it was safer this way, as Anne Sampson had pointed out during their initial meeting as they made the plans for her return via Zoom.

The life she had made for herself in a small villa in Italy during the last two years didn’t feel like home to her. And she knew that it was time to return to the country she loved so much. Past time, really. 

Her new home in Mitcham wasn’t exactly convenient for access to London, though the way she viewed it was that, at the moment, she didn’t need it to be. It would be some time before she could return to her life as a barrister, and the time might come for her to re-evaluate her location at a later date. 

But for now, she was content. 

Well, at least she would be… if she wasn’t having to make that very trip into London tomorrow night for some gathering at Number 10. 

The Prime Minister had called to invite her personally, and she hardly felt she could turn down the rather warm invitation. So she had haltingly agreed, but only after insisting she could stay no longer than a few short hours, making some excuse about preserving her strength. Lawrence had given her a jovial laugh in agreement, and insisted on sending a car for her.

As she had hung up with him, she had found herself suddenly doubting the idea, and if it was a smart decision. But she couldn’t live her life in fear of what might happen, she had reminded herself. She had to go on living her life, or the people who had tried to kill her would have won twice.

And she was determined not to let that happen. 

Placing her wine glass down, she looked over at the dress that hung on the long mirror in the corner, and gave a rueful chuckle. It wasn’t something she would normally wear. In fact, it was completely out of her comfort zone, but, she figured if all eyes were going to be on her anyway, she might as well make a statement. 

When Emily, a stylist friend of hers brought a few dresses over for the occasion, the shiny silver option had caught her attention straight away. Trying it on, she had fallen in love instantly. The evening gown came to her calves, and was cinched in the middle, giving her the appearance of an even smaller waist than she already had. She had picked a silver pair of heels to match, and minimal jewelry, knowing everyone was going to be looking at her regardless. She might as well make the best of it. 

Crossing the room to where her phone had been charging on her bedside table, she sat down on the edge of the bed, unplugging it. 

She had a number of notifications, but nothing of importance as she scrolled through the things she had missed while she was in the kitchen. Until she saw his name. 

She sucked in a breath. He was persistent, she had to give him that. Though she was hardly surprised. She remembered David’s dogged determination well. 

Opening the text message, she bit down on her lip as she read David’s plea, and she felt that same familiar anxiety beginning to gnaw at the pit of her stomach again. She hated the idea of leaving him in the dark on where they stood... but she just wasn’t sure she could bear to face him again. 

She let her fingers ghost over the buttons on her screen, unsure what to say. What were you supposed to say after everything that had happened? Was she expected to act as if nothing had happened and just go on with her life? 

She could hardly carry on with David the way she had before. No, that option was off the table. She wouldn’t allow herself to go through that again. 

Sighing, she pressed the button on the side of her iPhone, watching as the screen went dark and her reflection bounced off the screen, staring back at her in judgement. 

Deciding she needed more time to think, she grabbed her glass of wine and headed for the bathroom. A hot shower should help her get her head on straight. Or at least she hoped it would. 


	3. Confrontations and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Will you give it up?” She asked, her frustration obvious as she finally whirled around to face him. “I don’t want to talk to anyone, David. It’s not about you all the time, you know.”
> 
> Her bitterness was evident, and David winced. 
> 
> “Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” he snapped, then instantly softened. “I wasn’t aware … that I was just anyone, Julia…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellllll, the third and final chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this one as much I enjoyed writing it. My fingers are crossed for an actual reunion like this sometime in the future. *cough* Jed Mercurio, I’m looking at you. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for all the love and all the comments! I have loved getting your take on this story, and hope you’ll find the ending lives up to what you were hoping for. 
> 
> Xoxo.

He heard the gasps of surprise and the hushed whispers before he saw her. And when he finally did, he felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle as his body felt like it had been shocked by a live wire. 

She entered the hall on the arm of the Prime Minister, something he was sure would send journalists and political analysts into a tailspin during the morning chat shows. A move that was wholly intentional, he was sure. 

His body tensed as he observed her, a job that was so familiar to him, he was sure he could do it in his sleep. 

David watched as she and Lawrence Barnes greeted a group of people together, their arms (thankfully) no longer linked. He seemed unable to look away as he took in every detail of her. 

Julia’s hair had grown longer and it was lighter now, tucked into a twist at the back of her head with tendrils framing her face. David thought she looked like she was glowing, though it was more than just the natural make-up she wore or the shiny silver dress that caught the light as she and the PM moved about the room. 

He was very obviously protecting her, keeping the hecklers at bay, and David felt the slight prickle of jealousy at the reminder that that responsibility used to be his. His eyes glanced around the room, taking in the male and female officers that had discreetly entered the room behind the former Home Secretary. Her security team, David was sure. The middle-aged man looked vaguely familiar, and he thought he might have worked an event with him earlier in the year. 

Everyone’s eyes seemed to be on Julia as she talked with a small group of men and women and the Prime Minister, but she hadn’t even looked up from her conversation. David chuckled under his breath, biting back a wry smile. It was all _very_ Julia-like. 

All eyes were on her, and it was like she didn’t even notice. 

“Amazing, isn’t it?” David’s principal spoke up, and David turned to look at him, his brow furrowed. 

“What?” 

“To see her here,” Castillo continued. “Ruling court, as if she never left at all. Just amazing.”

David turned his attention back to Julia, and was surprised that when he did, vivid green eyes were staring back at him. As their eyes locked from across the room, neither of them looked away for a long moment. 

He felt himself warm under her gaze, the velvet blue suit jacket he was wearing suddenly seeming entirely too heavy for the stifling heat of the room. His eyes never leaving her face, he took a deep breath, trying to calm his rapidly racing heart. 

The moment was only broken as the Prime Minister excused himself, finally catching sight of Castillo and crossing the room quickly toward him as David stepped back to give them a modicum of privacy while still remaining alert

When he looked back at Julia across the room, she was looking away. 

Try as he might, David couldn’t seem to get Julia’s attention after that. An hour passed, and then another. Ever the observant PPO, he would feel someone staring, but when he turned to look, she had always turned her attention somewhere else entirely. 

Then again, he had caught himself staring at her more than once as the evening went on. He had, of course, done his duty by keeping watch over Raven, but he couldn’t deny that he was more than a little distracted by the beauty in the silver dress making her rounds throughout the room. 

Once, he thought he even heard her laugh, and surprised himself with the emotion he felt hearing the familiar sound. A sound he had spent so long thinking he would never hear again. 

Thankfully, a few moments later, Julia excused herself, her female bodyguard in tow, as she headed toward the restroom down the hall away from the party. It was about that same time that David’s replacement came to give him a break and he knew it was now or never. 

Wasting no time as he headed down the hall where he had seen Julia disappear, he began to look for the tale-tell sign of shining silver. She should be easy enough to notice. 

Finally seeing her standing by the door of the restroom, staring at a painting while her guard did a quick security check actually stopped David in his tracks. 

The redhead emerged from the bathroom, glancing at Julia quickly, before her principal gave her a curt nod and moved past her. David called out her name. 

“Julia!” 

He watched as she paused by the door, her palm flat against the smooth dark wood. Her head snapped up in surprise, but she didn’t turn to look at him. 

The redhead’s body tensed at the unexpected appearance of a man she didn’t know, and she held up her hand to stop him as he moved closer to where Julia still stood motionless, hand still pressed against cool mahogany. 

“Identify yourself, sir,” the PPO said flatly, her arm still extended as the other went to her earpiece, ready to call for help if needed.

“Inspector David Budd,” David said without hesitation. “I used to be the Home Secretary’s PPO… before ...”

He trailed off, his attention returning to Julia now. This was the closest he had been to her all night, and he felt like he could scarcely breathe at the overwhelming emotions he was suddenly feeling all at once. 

“Ma’am?” The redhead asked, indicating to Julia but never taking her eyes off of David. 

“It’s alright, Elise,” Julia said softly, finally turning to look at David for the first time since the exchange had begun. She was struck by just how blue his eyes were. Even bluer than she remembered, though two years was a long time to be away. 

“Hello, David,” she said gently, her hand coming to fiddle with the clasp of the clutch she was carrying in her hand. She always had to keep her hands busy when she was nervous, David remembered her confessing one night in the safety of the Blackwood. 

“Hello, Julia,” David practically whispered, his voice dropping in volume as they stared at one another, both unsure what to say. 

Julia had known David would possibly be here tonight, and if she was being honest with herself, she had intentionally put more effort into her appearance than usual on the off chance that she would run into him. But now that he was standing there in front of her, she felt giddy, and nervous, and completely overwhelmed all at once. 

The young redhead looked between the two of them, obviously curious about what she was witnessing as she relaxed her stance at Julia’s reassurance. 

“I’ll be right over here if you need me, ma’am,” Elise told them, though she wasn’t sure either David or Julia had heard her as they continued to stand there, gazes locked as the silence stretched on between them. 

They were both quiet for a moment before Julia spoke again.

“It’s good to see you, David,” she began slowly, still fiddling with her bag, and David felt his heart flood with relief … until she continued. “But you shouldn’t be here. We shouldn’t be here... like _this_.” 

David frowned.

“But Julia,” he protested, and he watched as her shoulders lifted in an act of strength as she stood taller, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“You should go,” her tone was strong, but David could hear an undercurrent to it that he recognized. She was fighting this with all that she had, and he knew it. 

“Talk to me, Julia,” he said sadly, feeling confused all over again by her rejection. He had spent the last two years believing she was dead, and now that she was back, she obviously (for whatever reason) wanted nothing to do with him. 

He could feel the dejection settling in again. 

Huffing, Julia looked around, spotting an open door across the hall that looked like it might be a study. They couldn’t talk in the open. It was too risky. 

Crossing the long hallway, she motioned for Elise to stay where she was. 

Tossing her clutch onto a beige leather settee in the corner, she sighed as she entered the room, hearing David hot on her heels. 

“Shut the door,” she instructed flatly, rubbing her temples as she anticipated the battle that was soon to come. It was almost too predictable. 

David did as he was told before turning and crossing the room to stand closer to her. 

“Julia, will you just _talk_ to me?” He asked again, feeling even more desperate to get to the bottom of what was going on here than he had been before. 

Her back was still to him when she spoke again, as she looked out a window that overlooked a luxurious courtyard down below. 

“We don’t have anything to talk about, David,” she said flatly, jumping at the scoff that came swiftly in response. 

“Like hell we don’t!” David cried angrily. “You’re kidding, right? I have a few things we can talk about.” David’s accent grew thicker the angrier he became, and Julia found herself surprisingly charmed by the brogue tone of his voice as he continued. Even if he was angry. “Like why you’re ignoring my calls… and my texts … and also the reason you didn’t want me on your security team? Can we talk about those?” 

“Will you give it up?” She asked, her frustration obvious as she finally whirled around to face him. “I don’t want to talk to _anyone_ , David. It’s not about you all the time, you know.”

Her bitterness was evident, and David winced. 

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” he snapped, then instantly softened. “I wasn’t aware … that I was just _anyone_ , Julia…” 

He had caught her there, and she opened and closed her mouth several times without any words coming out. 

“I, well —,” she finally managed before she took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts and trying to remain calm. But now that she stood there in front of him, she was finding the task to be more even difficult than she had imagined it would be. 

“David, you and I had our chance,” she said, her sadness obvious as she fiddled with the familiar gold signet ring that adorned her pinky. It had belonged to her grandmother, and she was never far from it. 

She looked around the room, suddenly refusing to meet his gaze. That would be the only way she could get through this in one piece.

“We gave it a go,” she said softly, her shoulders sagging. “But we lost it. We had one chance, David. _One_. You and I were never going to work. We both know that.”

It was quiet for a long time, except for the sound of breathing filling the small space. Julia was surprised David had accepted that so easily. That he hadn’t had more of a visible reaction. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed. 

“You’re angry at me,” he finally said, taking another step toward her. “Aren’t you?” 

“What?” She asked in genuine surprise, turning to look at him with obvious confusion written all over her face. “What are you talking about?”

“You have to be angry with me for … what happened at St. Matthew’s,” David said quickly. “That’s the only thing that makes any sense at all.”

He paused, all of the pieces suddenly seeming to click into place. Her ignoring him, the rejection he felt, how she had avoided him … and he deserved every bit of it. It all made sense. 

“Listen, I know I should have done a better job of protecting you,” he said flatly, his voice cracking. “That I should have found that bomb in the security sweep. I’ve blamed myself for the better part of two years for that.” 

If he was putting it all out there, he might as well be completely honest with her. 

“Trust me, I know. There were some days I could barely live with myself when I thought about what had happened to you,” he admitted dryly. 

Now it was Julia’s turn to let out a sound of disbelief. 

“Oh, yes,” she said flatly. “I heard about that... What the bloody hell were you thinking?” She whispered sharply, hearing her own voice wobble at the idea of him trying to kill himself. 

“You were my principal, and I was your protection officer. My job was to protect you, and I didn’t do my job,” David reminded her half-heartedly. “That weighed really heavily on me.”

“Christ,” she muttered under her breath, looking off to the side as she bit down hard on the inside of her cheek to staunch the flow of tears that wanted to come. 

“Did you really think you could just come back from the dead, and not have to face me?” David asked incredulously. “That you could really just act like I never existed? Like we never existed? Because that’s _really_ fucked up, Julia.”

She frowned. He was right, and they both knew it. 

“Is that all I was to you?” She asked quietly. 

“Wha?” It was David’s turn to be confused now. 

“I was your principal,” she repeated. “You were my protection officer... Was I just a _job_ to you?” 

Her words stung, and David shook his head. 

“I think you know the answer to that, Julia,” he said quietly. 

“Do I?” She asked, her tone suddenly sounding very child-like. If the last two years had done anything, it had made her second-guess everything she once thought she knew. And she hated it. 

“No, of course it wasn’t _just_ a job. The feelings I had --“ He trailed off, letting out a frustrated huff. “Why are we doing this, Julia? What good is bringing up the past going to do? It’s very clear that you’re still angry with me.”

“I’m not angry with you,” she said evenly. Though David wasn’t sure he believed her. 

“Well, you could have fooled me,” he said sharply, swallowing hard. He thought he had it all figured out but now —

“I love you, alright?” Julia cried out, throwing her arms up in frustration. “Is that what you wanted to hear? That I’ve spent every moment of the last two years thinking about you? That I’ve lost full nights of sleep wondering if I was making the right decision staying away? And that I’ve lost just as many nights wondering if coming back to you was a good idea?”

She sighed heavily, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted. David’s eyes were wide as he stared at her, suddenly feeling dumbfounded. 

Julia shook her head, turning away from him. 

“My god, David. You’re like a dog with a bone. You just don’t _let things go_ ,” she said, letting out a short laugh, though she wasn’t sure if it was one of amusement or frustration. 

“I never wanted to let _you_ go,” he offered quietly, and Julia felt her stomach do a little flip. She turned to face him again, offering her hands in a half-hearted shrug. 

“I didn’t … want you on my protection team … because I was afraid of seeing you again,” she confessed, suddenly feeling very small in her admission. “I was -- no, I _am_ afraid of my feelings for you. And what it would be like seeing you after all this time.”

“Julia, I --“ 

“Please, let me finish, David,” she said slowly. “I need to say this.” 

You and I … I never expected this to happen. When you were first hired, I was attracted to you, but I knew you were off limits because you were a part of my security team,” she confessed. “And then that awful day at Thornton Circus happened, and then _we_ happened. I fell for you, fast and hard… which is funny, because I don’t tend to let people in.”

“Aye, I’ve noticed,” David said dryly, a small smile taking over his face. 

She cast him a sidelong glance, the corner of her mouth pulling up into a smirk before she continued. 

“I had worked toward becoming Prime Minister my entire adult life, and I was ready to possibly throw that all away for a man I had known for a _month_ ,” she said, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she paused. “When we had that conversation at St. Matthew’s … when I said I wanted you beside me, I meant it. And then … everything got turned upside down.”

“That bloody bomb went off, and I thought that was it. That I was dying. That it was all over for me…” she paused. “And then I woke up, and it was all just chaos. I was whisked away from London without even being given the choice, and everyone was told I was dead.” 

“I’ve spent the last two years wondering if I would ever see you again, and if I did, what I would actually do or say. Because for the last two years, I’ve replayed that conversation we had in the green room over and over again… and I still don’t know how you felt… or how you still feel after all this time.”

She looked up at him, suddenly feeling self-conscious at her seemingly embarrassing display of word vomit. 

“I didn’t mean to throw you off, David, when I said what I said then,” she told him quietly. “I … even surprised myself. Especially after what had happened the night before…”

She trailed off, still remembering the feeling of David’s strong hands wrapped tightly around her neck as he had wrestled her to the floor. 

They stood staring at each other for a moment that seemed to stretch on for entirely too long. 

“Please, David,” she whispered, feeling rooted to the spot. “Say something. Anything.” 

“I’m getting help, Julia,” he told her softly, suddenly feeling the need to let her know he had listened to what she had said that night. “I’m seeing a therapist, and he’s helping me through my PTSD.” 

Julia offered him a soft smile, reaching out and touching his face gently, relieved when he didn’t pull away. 

“I’m glad,” she said simply, her eyes meeting his as her fingers stroked his face. The motion felt familiar, and Julia was overwhelmed by the emotions that threatened to spill over. 

“I never wanted to call it that before,” he told her, suddenly feeling emotional. “I never wanted to admit that I had a problem. But it was something you said that night that made me want to change it. You said that I was out of control, and you were right. You were always right.”

“ _Always_?” She asked, arching a brow cheekily, and they both laughed. Julia looked down at the floor, smiling, as she removed her hand, letting it fall by her side again.

“I’ve missed that smile,” David said without hesitation, and Julia rolled her eyes, wrinkling her nose in distaste for the cheesy line. 

“I have! I only got to see it behind closed doors, but when you smiled at me at the Blackwood, it was the only time I really _felt_ something. And I definitely felt something for you, Julia. _Feel_ something… present tense.” 

Julia didn’t say anything for a long moment as she toyed with her ring, still fidgeting under his gaze. 

“I’m scared, David,” she admitted, having difficulty getting the words to come out properly as they stood close, but were no longer touching. 

“There’s no reason to be afraid, Julia,” he reminded her, taking another step toward her. “They convicted Lorraine, Luke, and Nadia. They’re all in prison. You’re not in danger anymore.

“It’s not that,” she replied quickly. “I’m not afraid of them. I’m scared of wanting you as much as I do... which is why I pushed you away,” she admitted. “It scared the bloody hell out of me that as soon as I saw your name on my screen again, I felt all those same things I did before. That it never really went away. That’s why I denied your request from Anne. I needed to push you away before I got in over my head again.” 

“And did it work?” David asked quietly, reaching out and taking her hand in his, squeezing it lightly. 

“Do you think we would be here having this conversation if it had?” She asked cheekily, arching a brow at him and giving him the trademark Julia Montague smirk. 

“No, I guess not…” he said, chuckling as he intertwined his fingers in hers, moving in closer still.

“Can I kiss you, Julia?” He whispered, his gaze moving from her eyes to her lips and back again as he waited for permission. 

“I think you had better,” she said smartly in response, grinning widely. 

Just as David moved in, his lips barely brushing hers, there was a knock at the door. 

“Are you alright, ma’am?” Elise’s voice called out, making them both jump at the unexpected interruption. 

“Yes, Elise,” Julia responded quickly, hardly needing her bodyguard to appear and spoil the moment. “I’ll be out in just a moment!” 

David chuckled, shaking his head as he leaned forward and slowly claimed her lips with his own. What had started out as a gentle kiss soon turned passionate as Julia wrapped her arms around David’s neck, pulling him tighter to her as she pressed her body against his, her fingers threading through the curls at the nape of his neck. 

“She’s just fine…” David murmured, with a little smile as he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. “She’s home.” 

Julia smiled at his words, feeling a single tear slide uninvited down her cheek.

“Yes, this feels like home to me,” she whispered before claiming his mouth again, closing her eyes as everything seemed to come full circle in that moment.

She didn’t know what the future would bring, or what would happen after tonight, but right now, she really didn’t care. She was back with the man she loved, and everything seemed right again. 

“Did you say _Inspector_?” She asked, suddenly pulling away, her features colored with surprise as she remembered David introducing himself to Elise in the hallway a few moments earlier.

“Aye,” David said with a chuckle. “I got a promotion,” he told her, rubbing the back of his neck with his palm, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Julia smiled, leaning forward and kissing him again, her lips locking with his as he pulled her closer. 

“Looks like we both have some adjustments to get used to,” she teased, leaning her forehead against his with a smirk. “ _Inspector_.”  
  


A few moments later, Julia returned to the party with a fidgety Elise in tow… and with David by her side, holding tightly to her hand. Not because it was his job, but because it was their choice… 

**Author's Note:**

> Somehow the endnote from the first chapter got posted here, making it seem like I planned to continue this story. I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m sorry for the confusion. 
> 
> I may do an epilogue at some point in the future though. :)


End file.
